Thank you, Dr. Starbucks

I don't always appreciate snarky blog posts that criticize people who likely have only the best of intentions, but there is something just so laugh-out-loud funny about posts that focus on topics like, "What NOT to say to a pregnant woman."

I wanted to share a few real life scenarios that still make me laugh. I've also included my witty and clever retorts (that I thought of about a day or two afterward ...sigh).

"Should you be drinking that?!???"

Wow, I had no idea they were teaching prenatal care at Starbucks barista school.

"OMG, You are HUGE!"

If you think I'm huge, you should see my maternity underwear."

"You Must Be Due Any Minute!"

Nope, still have about eight weeks to go...so...ya...well...could you pass the stapler?" (I couldn't think of anything witty and clever so I figured I would rely on amplifying the awkward moment).

"Babe, when can we have another one?!"

Just as soon as I graduate from my disposable underwear lined with tuck pads and when I can go to the bathroom without using a water bottle :) (For anyone who doesn't have experience with this type of thing, let me know...I'll explain).

"Tell Me Everything!"

Well, first there was this thing they call a mucous pl....

(it's for my readers' safety that I don't share the entire ordeal. But the real reason you don't ask this of a new mom is because, as you requested, she will likely tell you ev.reee.thing!). In a strange, kind of heroic, "ya, I did that", kind of way, I loooved sharing these details. My husband, on the other hand, was not so comfortable reliving the entire procedure...er, I mean, "experience".